Dreams or Reality by Eleon Gamgee

During the Quest...

"SAM!" I scream, "Sam, don't leave! Don't leave me alone!"

My hands are shaking and I reach both of them out to my friend. At least I thought he

was my friend. He's stomping away in a fury! What did I say? My heads spins. It was something stupid, no doubt. The gold chain is rubbing on my neck again.

"You can't leave me! I'll die without you here!"

Tears stream down my face as I call his name: "Sam? Sam? Sam? Oh, please, Sam."

He fades.

Is it fog?

"Sam?!?"

He turns to me. His eyes don't have the same kind, brown glow. They're glaring at me, piercing through me. They're burning with a bright red fire.

"Sam?" I ask in my quietest voice.

His eyebrows knit together and he draws his sword. Oh, horrors and lightning, NO! He's advancing!

"Sam!" I raise up my hands in defense, "I don't understand!"

"You know very well!"

That's not Sam's voice. It's deeper than his and wicked. Oh, so very wicked. Evil to an indescribable extent.

"You're not my Sam!"

His eyes seem to outgrow his head. Those flaming, red eyes. Suddenly, they are not a pair of eyes at all. They are one eye. One eye with a will of its own. It is then, that I realize it's Sauron. The Lidless Eye and Dark Lord of the world, the one that's looking for that evil trinket I carry.

I shriek with fear as Sam's body, sword and all are thrown at my feet by some invisible, but very real will. I glare up at the ever-enlarging Eye.

"Y-y-you??" I stutter, "Is he dead?"

The evil croaking voice laughed. "Not yet, little fool..Not yet."

The horror disappears with one more throaty cackle and I am left shaking violently.

I think it was a dream...please let it be just a dream.

I crawl over to Sam's limp, sleeping frame, all in a heap, and feel his pulse. I lay my ear to his chest. He is barely breathing.

I turn away and kneel in the dirt, hanging my head and brooding over my thoughts. I look up at the sky and glare at the miserable clouds. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a burst of rage jumps out of me.

"WHY?!?" I bang my fists on the ground, cutting my hands badly on the rocks.

"Why did he have to come?” I sob. “He's been watching me die! I am dead and he's had to see it happen!! A slow miserable death! Why didn't I just leave him behind? He could have been free of this! Why did this happen to this lad, of all people?!? It's not fair!"

I stand, not really sure of my actions.

"Sam doesn't deserve this!" I spin around, as if I was talking to someone. Is there someone? Was this known and planned?

"YOU!!" I shake my finger at the clouds, not knowing who I'm really talking to, "You knew! You threw this upon Sam! He could have been at home! Growing his flowers! Marrying Rosie! Living life!!"

I collapse to my knees again, too tired to stand.

"You...whoever you are! You...you knew! Why'd you let this happen?"

Tears are streaming down my face now and I mutter, "It's not fair...not fair..poor Sam-lad..."

I feel so worn out from my dream and my outburst. I might as well die here! I lie in the dust, slipping in and out of consciousness; when I feel a shaky, yet firm hand grasp my shoulder.

"Mr. Frodo? Dreams again?"

I choke on my tears and Sam sits me up.

"What 'appened?" he asked, anxiety flooding his sweet eyes as he sits beside me.

I shake my head. "You can't know, Sam."

He nods reluctantly and touches his hand to his head.

He looks miserably sick. And we've no food or......water. Oh, Frodo! You idiot! He gave you the last bit of his!

This thought brings tears to my ears again, and Sam's face only conveys more than enough compassion, on seeing this.

"Mr. Frodo? Do you need..."

"No."

His eyes narrow on me. "But?"

"Sam." I look up him. "I need to...tell you something."

His dear face looks horribly worried now.

"Sam?" I choke on new sobs. "Sam, I'm sorry!!"

He looks confused now. How do I say this right?

"Sam..." I bow my head and feel his arms wrap around my shoulders, "I'm sorry I made you come."

He whispers, "Is that what you think? Don't you remember? You begged me to stay behind. It's not your fault. I'd never leave you even if you threatened to kill me. You know that, sir."

I could feel his smile spread through his very voice. It was warm and a taste of home. I look up at him again and squeeze out my pathetic attempt at a smile. He hugs me again and looks up.

"Look, Mr. Frodo."

I follow his gaze, "What?"

"A star's broken through the clouds. I had nearly forgotten about stars. They never looked so beautiful and hopeful at 'ome, eh?"

"No. They never did." I smile genuinely, however weakly. As I stare at the star, I feel comfort.

Thank you, I tell that someone I had been raging at before. Thank you for giving him the grace to handle me and this. I still don't think it's fair, at all, for him......or......me to be here...but...

"Mr. Frodo?"

"Hm?"

"You ready?" He looks down at me with an exhausted look. "As ready as you can be?"

I sigh.

"I suppose."

He takes my arm, helps me up, and we are off.

My vision is getting fuzzy again.

My knees are weak and shaky.

My neck is being rubbed raw by the heavy chain and its burden.

There is a presence of evil that wraps around me more and more, with every step closer to the mountain.

But in all this...I know...

I am not alone.

Text (c) Eleon Gamgee